Anal sex can be something that a lot of girls learn to enjoy but the problem is; most guys don’t know how to do it the first few times without making some very critical errors. After that, most girls will argue against it forever and the slightest mistake on your first virgin run will have ruined what could have been a career of enjoyment for the both of you.
Actually, many experts say that as many as one in four straight couples have already tried anal sex so it doesn’t have to be considered a “sexual taboo” unless you decide that for yourself. By making some of the critical errors on your first time out, you will indeed place it into the “taboo” category and kiss this exercise in pleasure goodbye. The biggest error for most guys can be avoided because it is the simple error of going too fast and hurting your partner. Then, before she has even had a chance to determine if she likes it or not, the case is closed.
Communicate
Guys, if you’re too scared to talk about it in a mature way then you aren’t ready to do it. In order to actually enjoy anal sex, a girl needs her guy to have some idea of what he’s doing and he needs to be confident. You also need to be able to communicate with your partner about her true feelings about the act and whether she is really ready to do this or not.
Despite all the touchiness around the subject, the idea of anal sex is actually quite a turn-on for a lot of women but the intrigue gets smashed as soon as she becomes afraid that her man isn’t mature enough to handle the topic or the activity.
Since there’s really no “right” way to start talking about it, it often helps to begin with something less intimidating… like your index finger.
A more experienced lady might even help her man along by putting his finger in there for him. Then she can coach him along so as to avoid all the difficulties that can come with this daring escapade.
If you aren’t so lucky to have a partner like this, try moving your finger down there in the middle of some particularly intense sex. Then press your penis toward that area on several different occasions until the topic comes up about what you had “almost wanted to do”. You can get a pretty good idea about her willingness for such exercises after you breach the subject.
Some women report the most powerful orgasms they’ve ever had while having anal sex so it sometimes helps to be led in the right direction first. Ask your sweetheart to lead you down that road and put her in the driver seat guys. Do it like an experiment and don’t expect to enjoy it the fist time you set out to reach new ground. You may be very glad you were able to take some simple instructions the first time out because this could open up a whole new world of pleasure and enjoyment for both of you down the road.
Lubricate
After you decide to try it out and to take it very slowly, make preparations to generously coat your penis with a heavy water-based lube. This is something that cannot be stressed enough.
True, the vagina has natural lubrication but the backdoor doesn’t! Without sufficient lubrication you can even hurt yourself or your partner in a very extreme way. As long as you use a condom and enough lube, you’ll be much safer. Then make sure you don’t thrust too deep and wait for her to get used to it.
There you go! With these simple suggestions, you should be well on your way to enjoying this seemingly “taboo” activity with a great deal of fun and pleasure.
Anal sex doesn’t have to be a terrifying experience the first time. Just make a point to talk about it before you take action and then make the necessary preparations to do it safely and smoothly. After the first few experiences are through, you will find that this is an area of enjoyment you never thought you would experience and you will be awfully glad you did.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Watch Her Engaging in “Self Love”!
A woman masturbating in front of her partner is a predominantly male fantasy. Women tend to enjoy interacting with their partners when they are together and then play with herself alone.
For all possible reasons, be it mere curiosity, adolescent associations, voyeuristic tendencies, or something else altogether, this fantasy to watch a woman masturbate has strong appeal to men of all ages. So why keep it a fantasy?
Ways to Persuade Her to Engage in ‘Self-Love’ Right Before Your Eyes
First and the most important factor that will eventually lead towards fulfilling your fantasy is trust. Your partner has to trust you. If she trusts you, it’s amazing how easy it can be to accomplish this goal.
It may be as simple as asking her to do it. But more often than not, you need to build on the trust between you first, and this may take some time. Some women are so dependent on their men, they would almost instantly do anything to please him. Other women will never do a single thing that makes them uncomfortable, no matter how much they love their partners. Therefore, one of the goals here would be to make your woman feel comfortable enough to succumb to playing out this fantasy of yours.
To convince her to do it for the first time is a problem, because how do you tell her what you want in a proper and non-demeaning way? An honest relationship allows you to approach your partner with all your needs and desires, so simply explaining to her this fantasy you harbor would be a good start. If she is reluctant, offer to do it first.
Ask your partner to sit down, fully clothed and have her watch you masturbate. Do not allow her to interact, just allow her to watch.
Perhaps it would help if you offer her to role-play. The story would go something like this: she is alone at home, in bed, reading. You are a burglar who got surprised by her early return and who is hiding in the closet. She can then pretend that nobody is home and have a go at herself, while you are in the closet ogling your eyes out.
Also, be careful of being misunderstood by your request to watch her masturbate. Think of it from her point of view: she is present, ready and willing to have sex with you… and you prefer to just watch and not engage with her?
Unless you really explain why you want to do it this way, she’ll figure you’re a pervert. You, on the other hand, will have a hard time staying put. At some point the pressure in your pants will go berserk, so calculate that occurrence when you propose to do a purely voyeuristic encounter.
Why Masturbation is Good for Your Relationship
Why is it important to go through with such a fantasy? This is because it is healthy for your relationship to live out all your sexual fantasies together with your partner.
If you don’t talk to your partner about your sexual fantasies and you leave them simmering in the back of your head, some day you will get a feeling as if you are missing out on something. Such desires can get very strong and ultimately ruin a good relationship.
The solution is to speak out about it. Women are smart, but they cannot read minds, again unless you are married to her for a decade or so. Actually, this advice to speak out about your sexual fantasies goes both ways. You need to ask her about her fantasies and reciprocate by fulfilling her desires too.
A very young relationship, where you have been together with a woman for a couple of days, or maybe weeks, is frail and asking your girlfriend to perform for you is a risk. However, if you are honest and able to properly define your reasons for asking such a thing, she may do it. And even if she doesn’t this should be fine with you.
There is plenty of time to get back to that idea later. An icebreaker may be to propose to masturbate simultaneously, watching each other. This may also be a solution in case she is reluctant to have real sex.
On the other hand, a mature relationship, perhaps a yearlong marriage, does very little to promote variety and sex is mostly a matter of catching a mutually convenient and physically possible moment to get intimate.
To waste that moment on a fantasy may seem ludicrous to you, but believe me that a change in the routine may be a very welcome surprise to your love life. It is always good to be creative and imaginative with your partner, so that she feels wanted, desirable, sexy and beautiful. After years of marriage, sometimes that validation is more important to a woman then having sex. So really, asking her to masturbate in front of you may be something she’s secretly delighted with!
For all possible reasons, be it mere curiosity, adolescent associations, voyeuristic tendencies, or something else altogether, this fantasy to watch a woman masturbate has strong appeal to men of all ages. So why keep it a fantasy?
Ways to Persuade Her to Engage in ‘Self-Love’ Right Before Your Eyes
First and the most important factor that will eventually lead towards fulfilling your fantasy is trust. Your partner has to trust you. If she trusts you, it’s amazing how easy it can be to accomplish this goal.
It may be as simple as asking her to do it. But more often than not, you need to build on the trust between you first, and this may take some time. Some women are so dependent on their men, they would almost instantly do anything to please him. Other women will never do a single thing that makes them uncomfortable, no matter how much they love their partners. Therefore, one of the goals here would be to make your woman feel comfortable enough to succumb to playing out this fantasy of yours.
To convince her to do it for the first time is a problem, because how do you tell her what you want in a proper and non-demeaning way? An honest relationship allows you to approach your partner with all your needs and desires, so simply explaining to her this fantasy you harbor would be a good start. If she is reluctant, offer to do it first.
Ask your partner to sit down, fully clothed and have her watch you masturbate. Do not allow her to interact, just allow her to watch.
Perhaps it would help if you offer her to role-play. The story would go something like this: she is alone at home, in bed, reading. You are a burglar who got surprised by her early return and who is hiding in the closet. She can then pretend that nobody is home and have a go at herself, while you are in the closet ogling your eyes out.
Also, be careful of being misunderstood by your request to watch her masturbate. Think of it from her point of view: she is present, ready and willing to have sex with you… and you prefer to just watch and not engage with her?
Unless you really explain why you want to do it this way, she’ll figure you’re a pervert. You, on the other hand, will have a hard time staying put. At some point the pressure in your pants will go berserk, so calculate that occurrence when you propose to do a purely voyeuristic encounter.
Why Masturbation is Good for Your Relationship
Why is it important to go through with such a fantasy? This is because it is healthy for your relationship to live out all your sexual fantasies together with your partner.
If you don’t talk to your partner about your sexual fantasies and you leave them simmering in the back of your head, some day you will get a feeling as if you are missing out on something. Such desires can get very strong and ultimately ruin a good relationship.
The solution is to speak out about it. Women are smart, but they cannot read minds, again unless you are married to her for a decade or so. Actually, this advice to speak out about your sexual fantasies goes both ways. You need to ask her about her fantasies and reciprocate by fulfilling her desires too.
A very young relationship, where you have been together with a woman for a couple of days, or maybe weeks, is frail and asking your girlfriend to perform for you is a risk. However, if you are honest and able to properly define your reasons for asking such a thing, she may do it. And even if she doesn’t this should be fine with you.
There is plenty of time to get back to that idea later. An icebreaker may be to propose to masturbate simultaneously, watching each other. This may also be a solution in case she is reluctant to have real sex.
On the other hand, a mature relationship, perhaps a yearlong marriage, does very little to promote variety and sex is mostly a matter of catching a mutually convenient and physically possible moment to get intimate.
To waste that moment on a fantasy may seem ludicrous to you, but believe me that a change in the routine may be a very welcome surprise to your love life. It is always good to be creative and imaginative with your partner, so that she feels wanted, desirable, sexy and beautiful. After years of marriage, sometimes that validation is more important to a woman then having sex. So really, asking her to masturbate in front of you may be something she’s secretly delighted with!
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Phone Sex 101
Phone sex may have a notorious name in the world, but it is something that can really be put to great use. Imagine you are living away from your loved one because of a professional or some other reason. Or, simply imagine that you and your partner are just too busy to have real physical sex as much as you want. Probably when you get home from a hectic day of work, you are physically too exhausted to do anything even though you want so much to be with each other. In such situations, phone sex can work marvelously.
In fact, some couples who practice phone sex regularly have claimed that it has helped to bring them closer. They maintain that they can tell each other on the phone what they would not feel comfortable to tell each other when they are face to face. Also, when apart, phone sex has helped them to rekindle their passions and reassure each other that they really miss each other and are faithful. So, phone sex has its uses!
How to Engage in Phone Sex with Your Partner
1. When you plan out a phone sex session, you have to make sure you are free from all your mental wrangles and worries. Keep at least half an hour for the activity. See that you do not get disturbed in any way. Remove all distractions and see that no ungainly noises will disturb you. Check that your phone is in good working condition too!
2. Some people find it quite difficult to get into the groove. If this is your problem too, you can try perking up the ambience of the room a little. Dim the lights, put on some mood music, spray some good perfume… such things work. Put on clean sexy clothes too. They really help set the mood.
3. Now is the time to make the call. It is best if you and your partner have pre-decided about the call because that makes sure they are ready too. Relax, take a deep breath and make the call.
4. When you call, do not let the excitement get the better of you. Start with small talk then gradually get naughtier and naughtier. For instance, start with the standard “So tell me babe, what are you wearing?” If she doesn’t bite and reply naughtily, simply tell her you are naked because you’ve been feeling ‘hot’. Be sure that you don’t get carried away and go on a whole speech here. Keep your phone sex talk going on like a conversation and not like a one-dimensional fantasy trip at your own end.
5. Slowly get down to dirtier talk. Talk about stripping. Talk about your partner’s private parts and what you would like to do with them. Let them talk dirty too. Slowly increase the pace.
6. Punctuate your talks with adequate sounds. Use moans and groans to effect. This is very important in phone sex because you cannot see each other’s faces.
7. Gradually lead your partner to fantasize and even encourage her to engage in self-love. Do that yourself. Tell your partner what you are doing. This will get you both really heated up and you’ll both end with a shuddering orgasm. Finish with some lovely after-sex talk.
It is not difficult to have phone sex with your partner. The only thing you need is the determination to do it! Even if you’re both at home, simply go to another room, call her cell phone and start some naughty talking!
In fact, some couples who practice phone sex regularly have claimed that it has helped to bring them closer. They maintain that they can tell each other on the phone what they would not feel comfortable to tell each other when they are face to face. Also, when apart, phone sex has helped them to rekindle their passions and reassure each other that they really miss each other and are faithful. So, phone sex has its uses!
How to Engage in Phone Sex with Your Partner
1. When you plan out a phone sex session, you have to make sure you are free from all your mental wrangles and worries. Keep at least half an hour for the activity. See that you do not get disturbed in any way. Remove all distractions and see that no ungainly noises will disturb you. Check that your phone is in good working condition too!
2. Some people find it quite difficult to get into the groove. If this is your problem too, you can try perking up the ambience of the room a little. Dim the lights, put on some mood music, spray some good perfume… such things work. Put on clean sexy clothes too. They really help set the mood.
3. Now is the time to make the call. It is best if you and your partner have pre-decided about the call because that makes sure they are ready too. Relax, take a deep breath and make the call.
4. When you call, do not let the excitement get the better of you. Start with small talk then gradually get naughtier and naughtier. For instance, start with the standard “So tell me babe, what are you wearing?” If she doesn’t bite and reply naughtily, simply tell her you are naked because you’ve been feeling ‘hot’. Be sure that you don’t get carried away and go on a whole speech here. Keep your phone sex talk going on like a conversation and not like a one-dimensional fantasy trip at your own end.
5. Slowly get down to dirtier talk. Talk about stripping. Talk about your partner’s private parts and what you would like to do with them. Let them talk dirty too. Slowly increase the pace.
6. Punctuate your talks with adequate sounds. Use moans and groans to effect. This is very important in phone sex because you cannot see each other’s faces.
7. Gradually lead your partner to fantasize and even encourage her to engage in self-love. Do that yourself. Tell your partner what you are doing. This will get you both really heated up and you’ll both end with a shuddering orgasm. Finish with some lovely after-sex talk.
It is not difficult to have phone sex with your partner. The only thing you need is the determination to do it! Even if you’re both at home, simply go to another room, call her cell phone and start some naughty talking!
SIX Tips to Extended Oral Fun
Oral sex is perhaps one of the most deliriously delicious things for women during lovemaking. Tonight, you want to pleasure your lover to the hilt and have vowed to give her an orgasm with your tongue. There’s only one problem: how do you ensure you don’t get tired (locked jaw, anyone?) before she climaxes?
6 Hot Ways to Oral Power!
Foreplay is your best friend.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, women need to be mentally sexed up first. Foreplay works on so many levels for women: it gets the ‘juices’ flowing even if they are not keen to have sex to begin with, and it greatly helps them reach an orgasm!
So engage in heavy foreplay before you go down on her. This way you shorten the time it takes for her to reach her climax.
Hey, what’s the rush?
A lot of men think that that the faster and harder they lick, the better. Wrong. If you do this all the time, we women feel what is called ‘clit burn’. Yes, that sensitive spot of ours feels like it’s slowly on fire and it can be really uncomfortable and even downright painful for some.
So take it SLOW at different times. Vary the speed, motion and position of your tongue and your partner will be mush under you!
Blow.
Lift your head and slowly blow hot breath on her down there. It’s a great break for your tongue and introduces a whole new sensation for her.
Liquid chocolate.
Ah, the many wonders of liquid chocolate. Take a step back and squirt liquid chocolate on her down there. Squeeze the thick syrup right at the top and let it slowly and agonizingly drip down the length of her. It will driver her nuts!
You have fingers, use them.
It doesn’t always have to be your tongue doing the work; use your fingers too. Use your index finger to graze up and down her inner and outer labia (vaginal folds) and then rub lazy circles around her C-spot. As her clitoris is visibly engorged, you can even use your fingers to GENTLY squeeze or tug at it. You can also use your thumb to gently flick her clitoris back and forth.
Let modern technology help you.
Go ahead bring out her vibrator and use it on her C-spot while you take a much needed break. It doesn’t need to be set on the highest vibrating power at all. Remember, it’s just to keep things going. So put it on ‘gentle mode’ so that she just gets a slight buzz… and then let your tongue do the real thing!
6 Hot Ways to Oral Power!
Foreplay is your best friend.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, women need to be mentally sexed up first. Foreplay works on so many levels for women: it gets the ‘juices’ flowing even if they are not keen to have sex to begin with, and it greatly helps them reach an orgasm!
So engage in heavy foreplay before you go down on her. This way you shorten the time it takes for her to reach her climax.
Hey, what’s the rush?
A lot of men think that that the faster and harder they lick, the better. Wrong. If you do this all the time, we women feel what is called ‘clit burn’. Yes, that sensitive spot of ours feels like it’s slowly on fire and it can be really uncomfortable and even downright painful for some.
So take it SLOW at different times. Vary the speed, motion and position of your tongue and your partner will be mush under you!
Blow.
Lift your head and slowly blow hot breath on her down there. It’s a great break for your tongue and introduces a whole new sensation for her.
Liquid chocolate.
Ah, the many wonders of liquid chocolate. Take a step back and squirt liquid chocolate on her down there. Squeeze the thick syrup right at the top and let it slowly and agonizingly drip down the length of her. It will driver her nuts!
You have fingers, use them.
It doesn’t always have to be your tongue doing the work; use your fingers too. Use your index finger to graze up and down her inner and outer labia (vaginal folds) and then rub lazy circles around her C-spot. As her clitoris is visibly engorged, you can even use your fingers to GENTLY squeeze or tug at it. You can also use your thumb to gently flick her clitoris back and forth.
Let modern technology help you.
Go ahead bring out her vibrator and use it on her C-spot while you take a much needed break. It doesn’t need to be set on the highest vibrating power at all. Remember, it’s just to keep things going. So put it on ‘gentle mode’ so that she just gets a slight buzz… and then let your tongue do the real thing!
easy steps for gr8 orgasm!!!
Hi,
Pay close attention, because what I'm about to share with
you will transform your intimate life FOREVER.
I'm about to share with you 4 SIMPLE steps to give your
wife or girlfriend the ultimate o.rgasm. :)
But you must promise me that you will try them tonight!
The 4 steps are:
- Master the art of foreplay. Get her to the point
in which she is literally begging you to penetrate her. But
don't do it yet. Having sex before reaching that "magic moment"
will decrease your chances of giving her an orgasm substantially.
- Use what I call the "partial penetration technique".
Which means that once she's turned on and begging you for sex,
start penetrating her slowly but just partially, and then stop
for a few seconds. Don't do "complete or full penetration" for
3 to 5 minutes. Just slow and partial... until she begs you even
more...
- Now that she's completely "turned on", encourage her
to "touch herself" while you're penetrating her. Take her hand
and gently take it to her clitoris. Clitoral stimulation while
having sex will boost her chances of reaching one or multiple
orgasms. And now's when you do "complete or full penetration"...
faster... and faster.
- Finally, to take things to the next level, use gentle
"anal stimulation" to increase the intensity of her orgasm even
more.
TRY IT... Trust me... it WORKS.
Pay close attention, because what I'm about to share with
you will transform your intimate life FOREVER.
I'm about to share with you 4 SIMPLE steps to give your
wife or girlfriend the ultimate o.rgasm. :)
But you must promise me that you will try them tonight!
The 4 steps are:
- Master the art of foreplay. Get her to the point
in which she is literally begging you to penetrate her. But
don't do it yet. Having sex before reaching that "magic moment"
will decrease your chances of giving her an orgasm substantially.
- Use what I call the "partial penetration technique".
Which means that once she's turned on and begging you for sex,
start penetrating her slowly but just partially, and then stop
for a few seconds. Don't do "complete or full penetration" for
3 to 5 minutes. Just slow and partial... until she begs you even
more...
- Now that she's completely "turned on", encourage her
to "touch herself" while you're penetrating her. Take her hand
and gently take it to her clitoris. Clitoral stimulation while
having sex will boost her chances of reaching one or multiple
orgasms. And now's when you do "complete or full penetration"...
faster... and faster.
- Finally, to take things to the next level, use gentle
"anal stimulation" to increase the intensity of her orgasm even
more.
TRY IT... Trust me... it WORKS.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
The Mystery Of Female Oral
Pleasuring your partner is an important part of a great sex life. You definitely know that, right? Well, one of the best ways to pleasure her is by giving her a little selfless attention – that means doing something hot to make her feel amazing even when you’re not getting anything back . . . at least not at that moment
I’m talking about oral sex or, in this case, cunnilingus.
The good news is that oral sex can be amazingly pleasurable for your partner. The bad news is a lot of guys just don’t know what their doing and that ruins the experience for both of partner. But you’re not going to be one of those guys.
Let’s look at some pointers to improve your oral sex aptitude.
Oral sex is one of those things guys have to pretty much learn how to do on their own. It’s not like driving a car where they can ask their dad for advice and it’s not even like vaginal sex which you learn how to do from watching a couple of X-rated films. You’re pretty much on your own with this one so let’s look at three techniques you can use to become outstanding in the oral sex department.
First, you’ve got to know how to move your tongue. The best analogy to describe this is a cat or a dog drinking water from a bowl. When they’re lapping up that water, their tongue is going in and out of their mouths pretty fast, right? Well, that’s the same type of movement you’re trying to achieve. Short and fast is the way to turn up the heat and rev up her clitoris.
Of course, using just “lapping” techniques won’t necessarily win you a prize in bed; you’ve got to know how to spice things up. After you use the first technique for a little bit, mix it up and try a rotation technique. Instead of moving your tongue in and out, keep it in and moving it a circular motion. This motion works amazingly well with the clitoris (circular motion also does the trick in vaginal intercourse, too) and can sometimes be just what she needs to push her over the top.
Now I know some of these cunnilingus sessions can last a pretty long time and a man’s tongue can get pretty tired (we do appreciate the effort though!), so when you start wearing down, give your tongue a break and try humming instead. That’s right – I said humming. Pick any tune you want and hum away but the trick is to keep your face in position. The vibration from your humming will travel up through her vagina and stimulate her clitoris. Basically, you’re becoming her own special vibrator.
Sometimes, guys, you just can’t do it alone. Now I’m not suggesting you bring in a friend, but I am suggesting you pack along a special surprise in your pocket for her: a sex toy. You can choose almost any type of sex you want, but keep in mind one thing: Where am I going to use it? If you don’t mind sharing your tongue space with a vibrator or dildo – and many guys don’t – then any of those choices are fine. My suggestion though is to invest in a toy designed specifically of anal stimulation. Even though your woman may frown on anal intercourse (especially if she’s had a bad experience), the truth is that stimulation in that region – when done correctly – can be pretty intense and can even lead to G-spot orgasms! Plus, if you’re pleasuring her in one area and your “friend” is pleasuring her in another, then your partner is definitely going to be one happy lady, especially after a few minutes.
And you’re likely to be happy, too. A satisfied woman is very likely to turn right around and repay you for your efforts. Maybe with a little fellatio. After all, what man doesn’t love getting oral sex?
While we’re on the subject of oral sex though, I want to mention safety. I’m not trying to kill the mood but you’ll have a lot more fun if you’re protected than if you end up seriously regretting your actions a few months down the road if you know what I mean. While oral sex won’t cause pregnancy, you and your partner can still transmit diseases that way. It may not be romantic but you need to invest in dental dam which covers your teeth and tongue during the act so you don’t exchange bodily fluids during the act. Trust me, you’ll be thankful you did.
Now go out there and start pleasuring your woman with amazing cunnilingus . . . safely.
I’m talking about oral sex or, in this case, cunnilingus.
The good news is that oral sex can be amazingly pleasurable for your partner. The bad news is a lot of guys just don’t know what their doing and that ruins the experience for both of partner. But you’re not going to be one of those guys.
Let’s look at some pointers to improve your oral sex aptitude.
Oral sex is one of those things guys have to pretty much learn how to do on their own. It’s not like driving a car where they can ask their dad for advice and it’s not even like vaginal sex which you learn how to do from watching a couple of X-rated films. You’re pretty much on your own with this one so let’s look at three techniques you can use to become outstanding in the oral sex department.
First, you’ve got to know how to move your tongue. The best analogy to describe this is a cat or a dog drinking water from a bowl. When they’re lapping up that water, their tongue is going in and out of their mouths pretty fast, right? Well, that’s the same type of movement you’re trying to achieve. Short and fast is the way to turn up the heat and rev up her clitoris.
Of course, using just “lapping” techniques won’t necessarily win you a prize in bed; you’ve got to know how to spice things up. After you use the first technique for a little bit, mix it up and try a rotation technique. Instead of moving your tongue in and out, keep it in and moving it a circular motion. This motion works amazingly well with the clitoris (circular motion also does the trick in vaginal intercourse, too) and can sometimes be just what she needs to push her over the top.
Now I know some of these cunnilingus sessions can last a pretty long time and a man’s tongue can get pretty tired (we do appreciate the effort though!), so when you start wearing down, give your tongue a break and try humming instead. That’s right – I said humming. Pick any tune you want and hum away but the trick is to keep your face in position. The vibration from your humming will travel up through her vagina and stimulate her clitoris. Basically, you’re becoming her own special vibrator.
Sometimes, guys, you just can’t do it alone. Now I’m not suggesting you bring in a friend, but I am suggesting you pack along a special surprise in your pocket for her: a sex toy. You can choose almost any type of sex you want, but keep in mind one thing: Where am I going to use it? If you don’t mind sharing your tongue space with a vibrator or dildo – and many guys don’t – then any of those choices are fine. My suggestion though is to invest in a toy designed specifically of anal stimulation. Even though your woman may frown on anal intercourse (especially if she’s had a bad experience), the truth is that stimulation in that region – when done correctly – can be pretty intense and can even lead to G-spot orgasms! Plus, if you’re pleasuring her in one area and your “friend” is pleasuring her in another, then your partner is definitely going to be one happy lady, especially after a few minutes.
And you’re likely to be happy, too. A satisfied woman is very likely to turn right around and repay you for your efforts. Maybe with a little fellatio. After all, what man doesn’t love getting oral sex?
While we’re on the subject of oral sex though, I want to mention safety. I’m not trying to kill the mood but you’ll have a lot more fun if you’re protected than if you end up seriously regretting your actions a few months down the road if you know what I mean. While oral sex won’t cause pregnancy, you and your partner can still transmit diseases that way. It may not be romantic but you need to invest in dental dam which covers your teeth and tongue during the act so you don’t exchange bodily fluids during the act. Trust me, you’ll be thankful you did.
Now go out there and start pleasuring your woman with amazing cunnilingus . . . safely.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Training For A Great Orgasm!
One of the most interesting phenomenons I’ve witnessed in dealing with human sexuality is the ability of people to train themselves into having an orgasm. Any one who has ever masturbated has engaged in a self-training program which has taught them how to orgasm. Before we talk about female training, I’ll give you an example from male sexuality.
I worked with a male once who was a regular masturbator. During masturbation, he fantasized about having his partner bent over the edge of a couch and engaging in rear penetration, not anal sex. For months he used this same fantasy to help him reach orgasm during masturbation. This affected his sex life. When he was having sex with his partner, he found that he was losing his erection and finding it difficult to climax in any other position. The only way he was able to reach orgasm during actual sex was by imitating what he had been doing in his masturbation fantasies. Essentially, he had trained himself about how to get off.
Men are not the only ones who train themselves. In fact, the training men do usually does not interfere with their ability to reach an orgasm during actual intercourse. With women, it’s different.
Women train themselves in two ways. First, they train themselves to reach orgasm using specific techniques. Second, they train themselves for each orgasm using certain fantasies. Let’s talk about both of these.
When women begin masturbating, they do tend to try multiple ways of accomplishing the goal. Once they find something that works then they stick to it. Let me give you an example. One woman I worked with had been masturbating with a vibrator for about ten years. She had to use the same vibrator every time because she claimed no other vibrator could bring her to orgasm. With sexual partners, she would fake orgasm then excuse herself to the bathroom where she would reach a real orgasm using her vibrator. After a decade of relying on the same toy and the same technique to reach orgasm, this young woman had taught her body how to have an orgasm. Since her partner’s penis was not her vibrator, it was not capable of doing the job. To his credit, he did try a variety of things to help her but the problem really wasn’t his alone to fix. She had to re-train her body.
The second method of training often begins even before a woman ever masturbates. As soon as girls begin fantasizing about men, they are beginning to train their bodies about how to reach orgasm. I have another example to share which illustrates this fact as well. A woman I worked with had been relying on the same fantasies during masturbation for almost two decades. Her preference were rape fantasies in which she was the victim and was non-violently coerced into having intercourse with multiple partners. The fantasies involved different scenarios, locations, and men but the basics were all the same. Even when she tried to have other fantasies, they would always end up deteriorating into a rape fantasy before she was able to orgasm. The only time she was able to reach an orgasm with her husband was when they attempted to act out her fantasy. Like the other woman, she had to re-train her mind about what turned her on and what would lead her to an orgasm.
The reason I’m sharing these stories with you is because orgasm training is one of the biggest, yet most often unrecognized, reasons for women’s difficulties in reaching an orgasm. The only way to break free of that old training is through experimentation. The more the two of you try different things the more likely she is to find something else that can help her climax.
I worked with a male once who was a regular masturbator. During masturbation, he fantasized about having his partner bent over the edge of a couch and engaging in rear penetration, not anal sex. For months he used this same fantasy to help him reach orgasm during masturbation. This affected his sex life. When he was having sex with his partner, he found that he was losing his erection and finding it difficult to climax in any other position. The only way he was able to reach orgasm during actual sex was by imitating what he had been doing in his masturbation fantasies. Essentially, he had trained himself about how to get off.
Men are not the only ones who train themselves. In fact, the training men do usually does not interfere with their ability to reach an orgasm during actual intercourse. With women, it’s different.
Women train themselves in two ways. First, they train themselves to reach orgasm using specific techniques. Second, they train themselves for each orgasm using certain fantasies. Let’s talk about both of these.
When women begin masturbating, they do tend to try multiple ways of accomplishing the goal. Once they find something that works then they stick to it. Let me give you an example. One woman I worked with had been masturbating with a vibrator for about ten years. She had to use the same vibrator every time because she claimed no other vibrator could bring her to orgasm. With sexual partners, she would fake orgasm then excuse herself to the bathroom where she would reach a real orgasm using her vibrator. After a decade of relying on the same toy and the same technique to reach orgasm, this young woman had taught her body how to have an orgasm. Since her partner’s penis was not her vibrator, it was not capable of doing the job. To his credit, he did try a variety of things to help her but the problem really wasn’t his alone to fix. She had to re-train her body.
The second method of training often begins even before a woman ever masturbates. As soon as girls begin fantasizing about men, they are beginning to train their bodies about how to reach orgasm. I have another example to share which illustrates this fact as well. A woman I worked with had been relying on the same fantasies during masturbation for almost two decades. Her preference were rape fantasies in which she was the victim and was non-violently coerced into having intercourse with multiple partners. The fantasies involved different scenarios, locations, and men but the basics were all the same. Even when she tried to have other fantasies, they would always end up deteriorating into a rape fantasy before she was able to orgasm. The only time she was able to reach an orgasm with her husband was when they attempted to act out her fantasy. Like the other woman, she had to re-train her mind about what turned her on and what would lead her to an orgasm.
The reason I’m sharing these stories with you is because orgasm training is one of the biggest, yet most often unrecognized, reasons for women’s difficulties in reaching an orgasm. The only way to break free of that old training is through experimentation. The more the two of you try different things the more likely she is to find something else that can help her climax.
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